It really seems to ring true, the more you do – the more you can do. However, life, work and being a mom entails a long daily to-do list that all too often stresses us out, especially if we barely make a dent in that list.
We want to be happy, we want to be successful and highest on that list we want our kids to be happy. And we want our spouse not to be unhappy with us and not feel we aren’t meeting his needs or the kid’s needs. And we want to meet our own needs. Yikes! Needs from every corner are constantly pulling us in every direction. An octopus is coming to mind right now as I think about how full our hands are and how we could use a few more.
If we can accept not being perfect, we should first and foremost focus on being happy. Our happiness sets the tone at home and with others around us. It is an important choice to make. Smiling and being cheerful will rub off on our children, family and colleagues. If you have teenagers, it’s still worth a try. Feel happy with yourself and others will treat you better and with more respect.
It is also important to feel a sense of satisfaction with your daily accomplishments. I can choose to be stressed out at the end of the day because there is so much work yet to be done. But try to look at the bigger picture. Tomorrow is another day we can continue on with our to-dos. Today we accomplished a lot. We had a full day of work. And maybe we squeezed in a hair color and cut. Fed the kids breakfast, got them off to school or camp, responded to 20+ e-mails, finally made the neglected phone call, hit the gym….It all counts! Feel a sense of satisfaction in all your accomplishments each and every day.
It is so fulfilling to be a mom. It is so fulfilling to be passionate about your work. Yet so easy to get caught up in trivial matters that make us lose sight of our own feelings of fulfillment.
My husband and I recently had dinner with old college friends of his. His friend mentioned that five years back he was diagnosed with cancer and was currently and fortunately in remission. He said being sick was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he doesn’t waste any time not appreciating life. He is so joyful and happier than ever. I thought about how often we all get ‘caught up’ and lose sight of this perspective.
If we are lucky enough to count our blessings – let’s choose to be happy with life and ourselves. Life is not always easy, it can be a lot of hard work. It’s not perfect and it’s not always fair. When I was younger I would often say “But that’s not fair!” My father always replied “Life’s not fair.”
But you can choose to be happy and engage yourself in something you love to do (even if it doesn’t happen to be your job). Just do the best you can, squeezing what you can into your day and celebrate those accomplishments. It’s a big balancing act. “Merrily we must Roll Along” because no one in the family is happy if mom’s not happy. It becomes a responsibility that we ourselves benefit from.
“In the midst of mayhem – I feel a smile, a song, a hug, a kiss. I cherish moments that count and the rest will wait.”
What advice do you have for working moms?